NYC Females, what makes you so special?

Simple answer is - Absolutely Nothing.


Now I might be unfairly generalizing here but it doesn't matter, I speak about the vast majority(as I see it) and if this in no way applies to you(which it probably does) then you shouldn't feel in any way offended.

In a few words what makes me an expert to speak on such topic?

First, I have had as varied of a sexual experience(age/race/nationality/ethnicity/background wise) as anyone out there and have always enjoyed the psychological experience of delving into the females psyche even more than the sexual experience itself (and considering the awful sex that often occurred at least I had something to hang my hat on).

Second, I am what some refer to as a 'gay-straight' male. Meaning I exhibit stereotypically "gay man's habits" like - ability to listen and actually enjoy female banter without false pretense of implied interest of a hetero male where the only actual interest is "how much longer do I have to ask questions to which I do not want to hear answers to in order to get laid". I actually enjoyed understanding how a females mind works on every possible level even if I wasn't necessarily that interested sexually. On some weird level, I enjoy learning their awkward habits and yet not judging them for them either. Typically, I don't judge anyone based on their sexual likes, preferences, choices or desires. Basically, I am everything your boyfriend pretends to be in his daily encounters with you.

Third, I always had and have many of close female acquaintances who told me in intricate details the most personal events of their lives which in most cases they told to very few or none.



Now that we established that I have some expertise in this area lets go back to the original question. What makes you so special? if you're a female reading this, I recommend you try to audibly answer this question and I will retort to some of your responses as if I am next to you.

#1 "I think I am really pretty" - Awwwww, Is that so? Of course, in order to more accurately evaluate your appearance random female, we have to have some sort of comparison to contrast your physical image with, in order to come up with a valid estimate.... Now, are you pretty next to whom? The flu ridden giraffe hopelessly grabbing on to the faint dreams of freedom while chewing on feces riddled tree tops in the Bronx Zoo? Or maybe next to your best friend Maria who thinks that brunch is something that you do 11 times a day and you offset it by ruthlessly exercising on Twitter. Or probably people that you hang out with and/or know? I will gladly assume that based on looks alone majority of your friends/associates are not being stopped in traffic. Thus, compared to majority of people that you know you might actually be "really pretty" however if we contrast you to a typical female(your age) walking the street of San Juan, Moscow, Rio De Janeiro, Lisbon, Barcelona, Rome, Amsterdam, Rabat, Beirut or Buenos Aires, etc you will appear as one awfully perturbed looking troll(and that is assuming you are at least moderately appealing). Females in NYC seem to be completely oblivious to that point. If I am absolutely starving, I can easily devour a McChicken sandwich or 2 from our favorite fast food provider and it will feel extremely satisfying and maybe even delicious at that moment. However it does not make it gourmet or even adequate. The perception of it's taste was altered drastically based on the contrast to eating nothing at all or own saliva................

The 2Nd reason(and in my mind just as important as the first one) is - NYC Males. I don't know if its based on small ratio of 'good looking to beastly gargoyle' females in our city or just overall, unexplained super aggressive response to their hormonal stimuli but typically heterosexual males in Tristate react to women the same way small Iraqi children react to US soldiers brandishing candy and chocolate. First, paralyzing fear and distrust, quickly followed by uncontrolled adoration and amazement, followed by expletives and exaggerated anger. I will never fully comprehend why NY males are generally thirstier than a morbidly obese, Eurasian book store owner who fell asleep in a sand trap... but they are... 'Average and below' looking females are constantly bombarded with attention from men of all ages, colors, backgrounds and incomes. Who would blame someone for genuinely believing that such attention translates to reality in contrast with everything that their brain, mother and mirror have to say?

#2 "My personality and the way I am is what makes me beautiful and I am actually an interesting person." Do you really think you're that interesting? What specifically about your personality that you so passionately adore? Is it because you find "Bruno" and "Hangover" so darn funny that makes you oh so cute? You haven't uttered an interesting thing once in your life and I'm willing to bet ham on Rosie O'Donnell's plate that you haven't understood half of the interesting things you actually heard from the mouths of others. Just because you say things in an uncommonly more annoying voice than usual, that does not make it sarcasm and just because you give an incredibly goofy giggle after every other sentence, it does not mean that you are witty or even have a sense of humor. And if your pursuer or a random male compliments you on any traits mentioned above(unless he is more inflamed than Richard Simmons putting out a Barbie House fire with a November issue of the Cosmopolitan) that should realize pretty quickly that it has as much to do with reality as the back of your kneecaps had to do with you getting inside a typical, low level NYC club for free.

# 3 "I am different from most/all females and/or I am unique!". You are not. You are a product of your sub par education and a result of male dominated society which encourages for you to believe in your own "female prowess" as opposed to actually having it. I will safely assume that you are typically boring, unimaginative, pretentious, easily replaceable and and will repeat paragraphs verbatim that I have heard countless times before sadly told by other dinged birds that also believe that they somehow invented it. On average your typical NYC female is about as unique as a preteen at a Jonas brothers concert. Sad. =(

Now...if you think this in no way applies to you. Tell me(yourself) what actually makes you so different from this "crude stereotype" that I have typed about? What makes you interesting, unique, special or cute? Which topic can you speak about, on which you can present a cohesive, original point that will strike "interest" from anyone other than a heterosexual male waiting to smash you harder than a BMW safety engineer? I can only hope and encourage you to be more open to the idea that there is so much more room for improvement in every possible way than you ever give yourself credit for. And then and only then will you learn to appreciate yourself as well as others and begin to actually develop yourself as a person and not just a shallow shell of a human being.

Welcome to my First Post. =)